It is with great pleasure that I want to welcome you to this website and Blog. The words and pages within this work, as well as my book of the same name, are the result of an ambition that I have had simmering inside my heart for more than 15 years. I am genuinely happy to now, finally be putting my desires into action. And perhaps despite my inner frustration that it has taken me so long, I believe it to be a universal truth that there is a time of maturing for everything under the sky, and that somehow everything happens in its own perfect time. But this truth not only applies to the writing of this work, but also to your arrival to read these words, perhaps the very fact that you are here on this Blog at this time is part of a greater plan for your life too.
The path of climbing out of alcohol addiction cannot be summed up in a few simple words. We are unique and complex creatures. But all of us who have found ourselves gripped by the clenched fist of addiction, reach a point when we know there is something deeply wrong.
When we find ourselves faced with the realization that we have a problem…we are automatically led to make a choice as to whether or not we will confront that problem. We have to make a choice, whether we like it or not. There is no amount of denial that can save us, because even not making a choice, is a choice in itself, so you see, we are stuck, there’s no way out.
In the case of addiction, the challenge lies in the problem that the one who must instigate the change, is also the one who must be changed. Somehow, we must change ourselves.
The posts and pages ahead, are the result of my own journey to freedom from alcohol addiction 30 years ago, combined with 15 years of helping others to follow the same path.
I have been fortunate to have been able to act as sponsor-confidant-supporter-listening ear- shoulder to cry on, and occasional clarity coach, to dozens of people around my home country of New Zealand. As a consequence of these many relationships, some spanning 15 years, I have been able to form a picture of the key challenges that many people face as they strive for a life free of alcohol addiction.
This is not a quick fix guide.
I am not offering “7 easy steps to sobriety”, or “30 days to a brand new you!”, because truly, these things don’t exist. This Blog is about how to actually make a change in the way we live our life… fundamental, necessary, self imposed …. change.
I have created this Blog and Website with the intention to help anyone who wants to elavate themselves out of addiction. This is not so much a case of changing our relationship with alcohol , but of changing our relationship with ourselves.
To be clear, through my own journey out of addiction, I have come to realise that it is not alcohol that is the problem, but the deep subconscious conditions that simmer within us for which alcohol provided an antidote.
It is only when we gain some insight into those conditions, and we learn to douse the fire from within that we are able to experience real freedom from addiction.
Simply staying off the booze, denying ourselves day after day holds no peace. This is not freedom. We must go within, and conduct our own version of the hero’s journey to emerge victorious on the other side. It is important to know that this is completely possible and that in most cases, freedom is closer than you think.
There are so many of us who encountered alcohol, and because it was regarded as socially acceptable, there was never any question about it’s suitability for us to be able to use it. There was never any warning to say that this substance may be addictive, there was never any advice to suggest that some people become addicted and die as a result of their addictions, nor was there ever any information readily available to indicate that alcohol addiction destroys health, families, relationships and lives.
I have never been able to understand how any substance that does so much obvious harm to so many people in the world can be peddled so easily and legally without the appropriate health warnings.
There comes a time …
In my own journey from addict to 30 years alcohol free, I have come to recognise that there are some clear and basic actions and characteristics that we can develop, that then open the way for us to make changes in other areas of our lives. It is the case that once we develop an appetite for change, as well as the ability to put new ideas into action, then we find we have set up a platform to constantly upgrade our lives. It is important to aim high for the kind of life you want to be living without alcohol, and this is a golden opportunity to think and redesign aspects of your day to day life that you may not have thought possible before. For me, this was about having more of the things I wanted in my life, as above, more fun, more laughter, (and not just my own), more sex (this is as much an analogy for more love as well and better relationships, a large part of which is about being a better partner), and more adventure.
You may have noticed that I have not listed success here, and that is quite deliberate. I personally don’t like talk of success, or promises that certain strategies will end in successful outcomes, because I believe that success is a personal concept, and something that we need to redefine for ourselves as we grow in our new life.
There are many subtle changes that take place within us , both as we go down the (labrynth) rabbit hole of addiction, and, as we climb back out.
As we re-acquaint ourselves with life without alcohol, we become aware of how much we have changed in small and big ways, and in most cases we realize that that there has been a slow eroding of our personal standards, that we either haven’t noticed, or we have simply been living in a state denial that we have allowed these changes to happen.
The process of climbing out of the rabbit hole, presents us with a unique opportunity to create the picture of our lives in a totally new and fresh way, to reset our values and take on life as a new adventure.
We have the opportunity to start afresh and build from zero in terms of friends, partners, hobbies and pastimes, and even perhaps work and career. When we are rebuilding our lives in this way, it is prudent to pay close attention to what you leave out as much as those things and people you wish to include as you begin to live and in a sense write the new chapters of your life.
Naturally, within the following pages there will be a discussion of how we fall into addiction, but for me, the most important things to be aware of is how to move out of addiction, and more importantly still, how to maintain a life of freedom from the chains and limitations that previously overshadowed every aspect of our experience, whether we chose to admit it or not.
The mechanism as to how and why we became addicted is a useful lesson to be heeded, but the work of rebuilding is also about taking the lesson and moving on.
I can only say, that my experience with living at both ends of the scale of dependency, has provided many insights as to how it is possible to tame our inner demons and find peace.
So… again I want to say Welcome to Off The Booze. I hope you will take the time to read the ideas expressed inside this blog and I genuinely hope that in some way this work is able to help you to create a life that has meaning for you and freedom from the slavery of addiction.
For me, that first decision and subsequent journey to break free of my addiction to alcohol has been the single most important thing I have done in my life, and I am totally sure that if I had not broken free, then I would now be dead rather than writing these words for others to read.
I genuinely wish you the best of everything that life has to offer, and I know from the bottom of my heart that you can have a life that you can be proud of and that feel right for you, if you give yourself the chance. The first step along that path is to get Off the Booze….So.. lets gets started .
0 Comments